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April 06, 2005

Can't you leave the kids alone?

Okay - this is my view, and only my view.

I trust my boy - and have a great relation ongoing with him. He is seven years old now, and he shares a lot of deep thoughts with me - thoughts that are deep for a seven year old. I sure hope that this will continue - that I still am his buddy when he is seventeen, twentyseven or older.

It is my dream, and it really is, that he asks me out to follow him, when he starts to venture out and discovers the nightlife of Kuala Lumpur.

I remember when I went out the first time, together with my sister. We met her best friend and her brother - and from that point onwards, I was out a lot. I am still in touch with my best friend, and this is a couple of decades ago.

I remember the first time when I was drunk. Really, badly drunk - and it cured me from hard licor. It was something like a game, and my parents were shocked to see me drunk.

I remember the first time, when I came back at 6.00AM in the morning, and my mum was totally pissed off with me and my behaviour.

I remember, when I coloured my hair blue and orange, and hey - my aunty from East Germany was on visit - that was the time, when the Berlin Wall was still up and traveling was tough - and my parents said that they don't want to see me with my coloured hair, and I said, hey - I don't come to visit you. I want to see my aunty.

I remember how shocked my parents were when I bought my 500cc motorcycle and they were worried, when I drove taxi at night to finance my studies.

They were worried all their life about me, my sister and my older brother. We turned out well. Hey - we had huge problems, all along, we weren't the best in school, but we learnt life as life was back then.

Today, life is different, and it is different in Malaysia, of course. This is not the West and I understand cultural limitations. I understand, why my parents were worried - they simply loved me. I will be worried like shit, when my boy ventures out. Hell, I am worried when I see him jumping into the deep side of the swimming pool or when he climbs up some equipment.

But what I don't understand is what is sometimes happening in Malaysia.

I would be pissed off with those who would give my kid a crew cut after a fight - fighting is wrong, and dangerous (hey, we all did it, din't we?) - but a crew cut is a different thing all together. I would be pissed off with the media, who plays this out so badly.

I would be pissed off with those, who take him out of a cybercafe.

This is my job, damn it.

What happens here is that the confidence and the trust of children is destroyed - how can they trust authorities? How can I come and say that the police is catching the bad guys? Is here to help you? When the kids are treated like this? All of them?

Posted by Andreas at April 6, 2005 12:43 PM

Comments

My parents were the most liberal people I've ever known. I have never had a curfew and I was given all the freedom I wanted. I turned out okay. I love my parents very much. But all 10-13 year olds are full of crap. After that, it'll all be good. :)

Ah, shit happens. It happened to me once. I was outside my apartment with my ex-bf. We had a huge fight (verbal). These guys in motorbikes came up to us and told us to shut up and go back home. He was so bloody rude. My-ex told him to give me his PIP number since his father works for the Malaysian foreign ministry. The guy said my ex was rude and that should mind his own business. We were interrogated and all that.

I felt like calling the police but I was afraid he might be violent. I hadn't learnt martial arts then. I have now. Especially to defend against 8 foot tall, 200 pounders. Google WENDO.
Women and girls need learn how defend themself from rape, theives and harrassments. You learn how to deal with molesters and save yourself in dangerous situations. In addition, you learn how to kill these people too. Of course, never recommended. But yes, a tiny 5'3" 120pound me can kill any 8 footer if they are to attack me. It only takes 2 weeks to complete the course. Legal repercussions will be a problem. But I seriously rather be judged by 12 of my peers than to be buried by 4 of my best friends.

Maybe get your son to learn some Tae Kwon Do - just in case. I don't know if Wendo would take him. It's specially for females.

Posted by: Ivy at April 9, 2005 08:09 AM

I thought that Western parents are more liberal than Eastern parents. No offence.. but I really thought so.

My parents were very very strict with me too. Until now, I still have a curfew at 12midnight when I go back home. But I can ask for extension though. But my parents are pretty lenient with me- cos I'm at home most of the time! ;)

Posted by: Eileen at April 7, 2005 05:33 AM

lilian: i dont think they will publish it.i've written similar thing eons ago, and it was related to showing pictures of an assasinated person's family. i was questioning their action as it could have jeopardised the safety of the victim's family. they never published it.

Posted by: kimberlycun at April 6, 2005 02:15 PM

Hey, Andreas, I am very mad too. I wrote something to the editor of The Star about the issue and so far, haven't seen my letter in the paper yet. I prostested about the frontal view of the kids and also the way the paper reported about the finger pointing between police, school and other parties.
I blogged it at
http://chanlilian.net/archives/2005/04/whom_do_we_puni_1.html

My kids do hang around cybercafes sometimes with their bunch of friends and I allow that. Even for my 13 years old. I trust them and hell, if anyone dare to get my kids to do a urine/drug test without my permission....

Posted by: lilian at April 6, 2005 01:55 PM